Chicken soup for the condemned
by D-Reezy42
Summary: When the going gets tough the tough get going. Wimps run for their lives. Follow these rules if you want to live. 1. investigation mutilation 2. Machoism is cyanide 3. Nuke anything that even remotely creeps you out, its the only way to be sure. Trust me


A/N: HEY PEOPLE. So, yeah, um, I DO NOT own Maximum Ride….no matter how much I wish I did. So yeah. I do own my own characters :. Please read and review, and I'll GIVE YOU A COOKIE! Everyone's dream, right? But hey, no likey, no read…ie.

Karma has an odd way with catching up with you. Like, take now for instance. Instead of sitting in a warm house with a cup of cocoa and watching the rain pound on my window while I watch my dramatic soap, I'm running for my life.

After running for about five minutes in knees deep muck, I have concluded that I must have been an axe-murder in my past life. Or something worse…like a solicitor.

I push myself forward, except, thanks to my harbinger of karma, my feet sank in the mud. I struggled to pull them loose, but when I brought my feet up, I had lost a shoe. I only have one shoe know. As opposed to, you know, two shoes.

I throw my hands out in front of me, trying to feel my way out of the dark. A freaking near impossible task. I can hear them behind me. They have a very peculiar sound. Like a gurgling scream, I guess. But now is not the best to time to figure out the sound they make.

"Ah!" my hands connect with a body. With all my strength, I shove it away. I feel it drop, and then I start dropping too. I kick hard, but whoever it is wont let go of my ankle. We slide down the hill, tumbling over eachother. Now I simply wait for the edge of the cliff to come. For me to careen over it and fall to my death. I hear the shock of the cold water is enough to kill you, provided I don't land on some impaling rocks first.

"What the _hell_ are you doing?" An irritated voice cuts through my envisioned death. Seidon releases my ankle. "Are you _trying _to kill us?" Relief floods through me. Thanks to my not-so-tickled reaction to Seidon, we had fallen down a hill and had most likely lost them. Not only that, be we weren't dead!

"If I had been trying, we'd be dead already." I pull myself up, and grab Seidon's hand to pull him up as well. A faint glow has emitted from the storm clouds. Despite being soaking wet, muddy, and angry, I smile.

"What on _earth_ are you smiling at?" Seidon asks sharply. He swipes his hands on his muddy jean, which only smeared the mud around, and grabbed his pack from the ground. "If you screwed up my Mac I'm going to have to kill you."

"Okay," I say mindlessly, starting to hick back up the hill. I almost consider waiting, in case they're still up there, but I know I've got to get back to the others. A thought dawns on me, a horrible one.

"Do you think they caught the others?" I ask Seidon. He gives me a sidelong look and pushes past me, struggling to find hold in the slippery slope.

"Course not," He says, because that's what we do for eachother. I grab a tree root protruding from the ground. Using it as leverage, I pull myself up. Mud seeps through my toe on my non-sneakered foot. It's still dark, but light has begun to make its way through the trees and clouds. It's only barely misting now, making my hair look like it's been sprinkled with dust. At least I can see more though. The large trees around me are slathered with thick vines, dripping off them like saliva from their gaping mouths. Spanish moss covers everything in sight, making me feel like I'm wearing green tinted sunglasses. It smells like something is rotting.

"Will you wait," Seidon whispers from behind me. He's still struggling, grappling with the root, his muddy hands slipping off.

"Here," I extend my hand to him. He grabs it, and clambers up the slope, almost yanking my arm off in the process. He collapses next to me, and I start to laugh. We can't even climb a hill without getting out of breath.

"What is the matter with you?" Seidon growls, lifting himself up. He runs his hand through this hair, streaking it with mud. "I think you've gone crazy. How can you _laugh_ when we are running for our lives?"

"We aren't running anymore, we lost 'em," I point out, even though it's weak. Seidon looks at me funny, and then walks ahead.

"Congratulations," He calls from up ahead. "I think you've found the worlds thinnest argument." I scramble up, hopping over fallen logs and slipping on slimy moss trying to keep up with him. See what happens when you split up? You should never do it.

"I hate this," Seidon grumbled when I caught up with him. He's always so grouchy. Me, I prefer to look on the bright side of things. Or, more like the less-dark side. Bright isn't necessarily in my vocabulary.

"Yes, well, we all ate things," I tell him. He frowns even deeper. I swear, the corners of that boy's mouth are permanently set on mope. Then I stopped and shoved my arm out in front of Seidon.

"Shhh," I say, straining my ears. We are idiots. We should have been quieter. Wow, I am not that smart. Though you've probably already realized this. You're probably sitting there screaming at me.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU'RE AND IDIOT! YOU JUST ESCAPED, NOW YOU GO BACK UP ALL LAUGHING AND JUBILANT. YOU'RE INSANE!" Yup, that is exactly what your saying.

"What?" Seidon whispered. I waved my hand at him. There it was again. That faint sound…that faint gurgling sound…

"Run!" I screamed charging forward, nearly decapitating myself on a low hanging branch. They burst out of the bushes; cold piggy eyes glinting with excitement. Seidon cursed and jumped after me, and he _did_ hit his head on the branch. Then he cursed again.

My mind was all jumbled. Like someone had hit the scramble button. I ran, but it felt like I was in a maze. Which I was. Trees are very good barricades.

I could hear them better now. Gurgling like babies, except…screaming at the same time. I could hear them trampling along the undergrowth. Seidon was running next to me, tripping more so than I was. I jumped over a log, but my foot got caught in a branch. I fell fast, and Seidon fell over me. My face fell in Spanish moss.

Everything was silent. I froze, hoping I was blending in, taking my current dirt color into the calculation. Seidon stilled his breathing next to me. Even the birds seemed to stop chirping. The wind died down, like we were caught in the eye of the storm.

A Drainer's war cry is a lot like a tornado siren. It reaches one pitch, and wails in a constant and freakish sound that makes my blood evaporate. My heart rate kicked up a notch.

This would be interesting.

A/N: Okay, well, thanks for reading. I'll update soon :. Please review! Criticism is loved and welcomed. Thanks!


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